My Dearest Helga,
Why must you be so spatially efficient? Why must you drive like a sleek car, and not the Soccer Mom Mobile that you appear to be. Your heated seats warming my buns in cold Northeast winters; your strong air conditioner cooling those very same buns in dreadful Texas summers. So strong and reliable. So German.
But today, sadly, I wish I didn't love you so.
We both know there has been some whistling. Some chirping that sounds like a cricket is stuck in your dashboard. I accidentally allowed your washer fluid reserves to get a little low, as you kindly remind me every 15 minutes with that charmingly shrill beep. But you knew I'd take care of you.
Why must you be so spatially efficient? Why must you drive like a sleek car, and not the Soccer Mom Mobile that you appear to be. Your heated seats warming my buns in cold Northeast winters; your strong air conditioner cooling those very same buns in dreadful Texas summers. So strong and reliable. So German.
But today, sadly, I wish I didn't love you so.
We both know there has been some whistling. Some chirping that sounds like a cricket is stuck in your dashboard. I accidentally allowed your washer fluid reserves to get a little low, as you kindly remind me every 15 minutes with that charmingly shrill beep. But you knew I'd take care of you.
Helga, let me ask you something -- why is it that I am unable to take you to the mechanic to find out about that funny, whistling, chirping noise you've been making and discover that is a quick, $25 thing to fix. Why, oh why must it be some $1200, 2-day ordeal? Maybe it's just some bad PMS you're dealing with -- it's OK -- you can tell me.
Of course we'll have them fix you up like you've had an afternoon at Bliss -- even though it now means that my own Bliss massage/facial enjoyment will have to wait. Deep down, I still believe the sound is just you, telling me that you love me too.
2 comments:
It's so nice to see someone else who names her car...mine is Lola the RAV4 and I think she and Helga are terribly similar...Great post!
I've always named my cars -- well, all 3 of them. I laugh because we never came up with one for my husband's Escape because I swear it has no personality!
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